Rumination

Looking back over your life, what do you say you regret wasting time on the most? What do you think? Of course, it's got to be...

Regret over watching too much TV.

Next comes about 1/3 of us who regret commuting.

After that comes regret over wasting time with gossip.

The others are often people in affluent countries who just worry - about nothing in particular - we must know that. Many psychological techniques can help reduce worry, phobias and paranoia. Even still, we cannot expect to ever be completely worry free.

While many people regard celebrities as superior to other people, the reality is that they have a normal amount of worry, just like the rest of us.

Some of us prefer contemplation. This entails a relatively accurate analysis of previous events, current concerns, and future desires. When we contemplate, we usually come up with answers. Contemplation is associated with greater self-knowledge and emotional health. When a problem must be solved, we need not stop our brains from thinking about it, until it comes up with an answer, until it's gone. This is far different from rumination, which is cyclical, and gets us nowhere.

That just about says it all, does it not?

Rumination (cyclic, negative thoughts to the point of overload)is based on a better understanding of the chronic nature of worry (spinning our wheels getting nowhere, like regurgitating our cud and chewing iit again). Rumination amounts to an intense focus on real or imagined negative events usually considered to be beyond your control, which in turn amplifies anxiety, depression, and social unease.

When psychological researchers compared people*, they found that those who favored self-contemplation tended to be compassionate, dependable, productive and insightful about themselves. Ruminators came across as fearful, moody, nervous, defensive, and self-pitying. Ruminating only makes matters worse.

Think about this: you could read this over and over and you still couldn’t get enough out of it that you probably need to. It’s fine to think about the past and how it relates to the present and your future.

Hey, you know who you are. Maybe you have family members or friends who just beat the thing to death. They go over and over it… and it’s usually something that they can do anothing about.

Few people worry about what happened in the past. Even if they experience guilt about past events, they aren’t worried about the past, only dealing with their continuing reaction to what happened in the past. Fear is sustained by our thoughts and memories of the past. When we recall our fears, we are filled with anxiety. WeYou’re afraid of public opinion, afraid of losing our jobs, afraid our spouse might run off, afraid of being hurt, afraid of not being loved, afraid of dying, afraid of rattlesnakes.

All fears are, in essence, one fear; the fear of what will happen in the future and our inability to cope with it.

Let’s say you are walking in the desert, but you’re afraid you’ll come across a rattlesnake (fear of a future event). Let’s suppose you do encounter a rattlesnake….now you’re afraid it is going to bite you….again, fear of a future moment. Then it does bite you and now you’re afraid of dying (future fear), and so on.

“Don't worry–be happy!” Easy to say, but not worrying and being happy may not always be practical. This is especially true for humans, evolved for the purpose of procreation above all else. However, we can resolve ruminative thoughts through cognitive talk therapy, deep breathing, thought stopping techniques, and progressive relaxation exercises**.

* The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. S. Nolen-Hoeksema, Journal of Abnormal Psychology. Vol 109(3), Aug 2000, 504-511.

** Ways of stopping ruminative thoughts. Obsessive ruminations: a controlled trial of thought-stopping technique. RS Stern, MS Lipsedge, IM Marks - Behav Res Ther, 1973